Dear Santa,

I’m writing you to let you know that I have been really good this year. Better than last year. The lumps of coal in my stocking last Christmas was a nice touch though, and well deserved. I have been so much better this time around, hoping that maybe I’ll be lucky enough to receive a few of the gifts I really want.

A few months ago I helped out some friends, Sally and her brother Franklin, as they prepared for their road trip. They were super excited to see the country side in all its natural beauty. Unfortunately for them, there was some kind of hiccup in their plan. They were attacked by a guy who was wearing a mask made of skin, carrying a chainsaw. My mother told me a few days ago that they never returned. It hurt my heart. They were good people, especially Franklin, who was regrettably confined to a wheelchair.

I also helped out a kid with deformities named Jason, while I was at camp last summer. I witnessed a few of the other kids picking on him because he didn’t want to go in the water, so I stepped in to help clear the tension. He was a nice boy, and strangely quiet, but very clever and very strong for his age. Sadly enough, I received a letter in the mail earlier this year informing me that the poor kid had drowned in the camp lake. It was sad to learn of his passing.

I went to visit another friend of mine, Mike, the other month. It was good to spend some time with him and his sister Laurie. Mike usually never says a word, however, he’s always up for a game of hide and seek. He really likes being the seeker. He’s always trying to sneak up on us and scare us. I think he takes pleasure in it because there’s something he’s hiding. His sister Laurie agrees with me.

This has been one heck of a rough year for me, Santa. Earlier this year, I learned that my father had cheated on my mother. For weeks my mother locked herself in her room, doing her best to cope with the way things were going. My parents eventually decided to separate, and my dad moved away, which really destroyed my mother. Please make sure she has a wonderful Christmas, and that my father gets what he deserves.

I recently mailed a letter to my friend Freddy, trying to console him. He’d been having some troubles with some people he knows. He’s had some bothersome nightmares of late, claiming his neighbors are out to get him. He’s tried to keep to himself, taking up wielding to keep him busy and take his mind off of the situation, but apparently they won’t leave him alone. Lately he’d seen his name in the newspaper a couple of times, a fitting reward for his accomplished works of art. I saw his named mentioned in the paper the other day also, but not because of his art. He’d been found burned alive, in one of his neighbor’s basements. I’m sad, he was a really funny guy.

I’ve been on my best behavior this year, Santa, and I feel like I deserve to get a few gifts for being so good. Below is a small list of items I would enjoy getting for Christmas.

I don’t want any toys or dolls, as my friend Andy received a Good Guy from his mother for his birthday, which turned out to be possessed. He claims the talking doll won’t ever leave him alone. Instead, I’ve scribbled down a few useful items to help make my year a little brighter.

1. Hair gel

2. Undershirts

3. New boots

4. Voice changer (for playing tricks on my friends)

5. Buck 120 knife (for hunting)

P.S. I left some cookies and milk on the table.

Merry Christmas Santa,
Billy Loomis