Morbidly Beautiful

Your Home for Horror


It’s Christmas, and we’re celebrating the only way we know — the weirdest way possible! Join us as we talk weird aliens and weirder curses.


This podcast invades your body, controls your mind, and blows you apart.


It’s an homage! It’s a ripoff! It’s an authorized sequel! Whatever it is, it is the epitome of low budget 80’s movie. Horrible dialogue with a sprinkling of bad, bad special effects. Chaos claims this is not a revenge or pre-revenge pick, but Carnage is not so sure she believes that.

If you are a new listener to the PaNcast, be aware there are spoilers and expletives ahead! We break down the movie, go through a summary, and offer analysis, trivia, arbitrary awards, reviews, ratings, fanfiction, and more!

”My friend went to Mars, all I got was this stupid egg, and things went awry.” – Carnage’s Five-Second Summary.

Don’t break the eggs or even rock the boat because any disturbance will cause these aliens to spray their deadly liquid all over you.

It takes one cop, one astronaut, and one military colonel to figure out how a trip from Mars correlates with these new specimens on Earth. Will they be able to stop the eggs from taking over, or will they end up in the belly of the queen? Listen to find out.

Make sure to check out Contamination, so you are spoiled like the rotting crew in the Freighter. Then check out Chaos and Carnage for the real deal.

Contamination is available to rent on Amazon Prime, with or without Rifftrax.


He’s a priest! No, he’s a pastor! No, he is a Velcroraptor! No he is The Velocipastor! Coming to get you to confess your sins and claw your throat out for them. Better keep those sins to yourself!


Poor Doug. Not only is he a priest working in a Methodist church, which is just confusing as all hell, but his parents also went explody right in front of him. To get some space, he goes to the exotic land of my backyard, otherwise known in movie land as China. Unfortunately, he doesn’t get any clarity, just a curse that turns him into a Velocipastor.

Helped by Dr. Lawyer and sex worker Carol, Doug will find all the criminals and teach them a lesson. Starting with Frankie Mermaid, who is swimming in bitches.

Make sure to check out The Velocipastor, so you aren’t spoiled like all those victims that are just hanging out in the woods, just covered in leaves. Then hop over to this week’s episode to get the 411 from Chaos, Carnage, Sam Helsing, and Mama Chaos.

The Velocipastor is streaming for free on Tubi and Roku.


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