Is the CGI guinea pig spy spoof “G-Force” a pint-sized delight or a gargantuan mess? Find out how it stacks up in this week’s Cage Match.
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This week’s Cage Match (as chosen by the random number generator from Cage’s entire filmography) was one of Nicolas Cage’s voice acting roles, the beleaguered 2006 animated flick The Ant Bully. For the People’s Pick, we put two other voice roles up for a vote: 2009’s Disney/Bruckheimer joint G-Force and 2013’s DreamWorks hit The Croods. Surprisingly, voters picked the spy parody about secret agent rodents on a mission to save the world, G-Force.
IN THIS CORNER: KELLY MINTZER
The Lowdown
Periodically I indulge in a particular kind of arrogance, where I assume I’ve already seen the weirdest movie I will ever see. Time and again, I’m proven wrong; the history of film is vast, and in relative terms, I am but a guppy splashing through the deep end. I would never, in a million years, have anticipated having that reality brought home to me in crushing relief by a movie called G-Force about secret agent guinea pigs, but here we are.
Guys, I don’t even really know where to start with this one.
You would think, based on the tin, that it’s a children’s movie. Cute, animated guinea pigs going on missions sounds very Chip and Dale’s, right? It took less than a minute to disabuse me of that notion when the movie promptly revealed that its big bad is Bill Nighy (raising the inevitable question of who was blackmailing him and with what information to get him to star in this movie) is an arms dealer (or is he? The movie later seems to suggest he’s just really into appliances?).
This is the first of many, many baffling narrative choices.
The nutshell pitch of the movie is that a group of talking guinea pigs and a mole rat are operatives under the training of Zach Galifinakis. Special Agent Will Arnett shuts down their operations and the guinea pigs get sent to a pet store and struggle to make their way home. Once they return to Galifinakis, they work together to shut down Nighy’s devious operations.
Oh boy.
I know some of the—ahem—“humor” (quotation marks VERY intentional) is intended for the adults in the audience, but it just made me cringe. I would like to have never heard the phrase “Guinea pigs gone wild!” in reference to sexy rodents (again, WHO IS THIS FOR??).
Thrown into all of this is a weird love triangle? I guess? Between three of the guinea pigs. It seems to reinforce a pretty gross gender stereotype about women just leading men on for fun.
I really hated this movie.
The Cage Factor:
You probably (understandably) think that my declaration of hate for this movie makes it a rat in a cage. But I’m giving it a Cautious Cage. It’s a BAD movie. But Nicolas Cage is adorable in it — he is honestly the best thing about it. A lot of A-list actors have no idea how to do voice acting, or they simply phone it in (as some of the A-list actors in this movie do). But Nic Cage is great. He is doing a full character, unlike (no shade) his role in this week’s other nightmare, The Ant Bully, where it’s just Cage’s voice saying weird ant stuff.
I loved his little mole rat! And I think, were I the sort to get high, this might be a blast while enjoying some of the devil’s lettuce.
AND IN THIS CORNER: STEPHANIE MALONE
The Lowdown
Ah, G-Force — the 2009 animated spectacle that answered the question absolutely no one was asking: “What if we gave guinea pigs, insects, and one mysterious mole tiny tech and made them secret agents?” Let’s dive into this rodent-sized fever dream, shall we?
When G-Force hit theaters, critics were… let’s say, less than impressed. The film currently boasts a whopping 22% on Rotten Tomatoes. But is it really that bad? Or have we been too harsh on our pint-sized heroes?
Let’s start with the positives because, believe it or not, there are some. The animation, for its time, was actually quite impressive. Those guinea pig fur textures? Surprisingly realistic. The action sequences? Decently choreographed for a film about rodents fighting kitchen appliances (yes, you read that right).
So, about that exceedingly rotten score. No, this isn’t a misunderstood masterpiece that the critics somehow got wrong.
The story and script feel like they were cobbled together from leftover bits of every spy movie cliché and children’s film trope. It’s as if someone threw Mission: Impossible, Stuart Little, and a PetSmart commercial into a blender and hit puree. The result is a tonal mess that can’t decide if it wants to be an action-packed spy thriller, a goofy kids’ movie, a tongue-in-cheek spoof, or a heartwarming story about acceptance, belonging, and overcoming limitations.
G-Force is a bizarre relic of late 2000s animation excess. It’s not good enough to be genuinely enjoyable, not bad enough to be ironically entertaining, and not forgettable enough to fade into obscurity. It exists in a strange limbo of mediocrity, forever spinning on its little guinea pig wheel of “almost, but not quite.”
Still, it’s not often you get to see guinea pigs engage in espionage while Nicolas Cage voices a neurotic mole. It’s certainly unique, I’ll give it that. And you always get points for creativity in my book.
The Cage Factor:
Nicolas Cage is not just a phenomenal actor; he’s remarkably adept at voice work and easily outshines the entire cast of A-listers here. He’s BY FAR the best part of this film and the only actor bringing anything particularly unique or charming to his performance.
Cage is known for his ability to bring eccentricity and intensity to his roles, and he does the same with Speckles the Mole. His voice performance is distinct and adds a quirky charm to the character, setting Speckles apart from the other guinea pigs and animals in the film. Cage infuses Speckles with a nervous energy and offbeat personality that keeps the audience engaged whenever he’s on screen. His vocal inflections and comedic timing add a layer of humor and unpredictability to the film.
Speckles could have been a flat, forgettable character, but Cage’s performance makes him quirky and more dynamic. Some of the most memorable moments in the film involve Speckles, thanks to Cage’s commitment to the role. His voice helps elevate scenes that might otherwise have felt flat.
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