Morbidly Beautiful

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One Wedding I’d Like to Attend: “Frankenstein Takes the Cake” is a witty and highly enjoyable read for monster fans young and old.

I HATE weddings. The ceremony is long (many times) and full of sermons and solemn oaths. The reception is long (almost guaranteed) and a variable field of social land mines. The time between the invitation’s arrival and the big day always (feels) long and is full of stupid bachelor and bachelorette parties, panic attacks and general unhappiness for those getting married and those bound by contract to attend.

If I had my way, weddings (and their respective receptions) wouldn’t last more than half an hour and would all by presided over by a guy who got his license to marry people on Craigslist. I’d also cut out physical and digital invitations and pointless pre-wedding parties all together, and simply use old fashioned word of mouth to announce the nuptials (which is convenient because even if someone says, “I told you about this wedding,” you can say “I didn’t receive anything physical or digital to put on my fridge, or digital calendar, ergo I forgot. Sorry. (Not really.)”

If you can’t tell, weddings are close to the top of my dislike list — right above birthday parties and just below funerals. Regardless though, there is still ONE, count it ONE wedding, I would be more than happy to attend…and that is the wedding of Frankenstein (well, really his monster) and the Bride of Frankenstein.

If Adam Rex’s hilarious sequel to Frankenstein Makes a Sandwich is anything to go by, it would be a great time, full of somewhat dead vows (from the bride), allergy episodes (with garlic bread and a certain Transylvanian count), and lots of screaming— put me on that guest list! I don’t know about you readers, but that all sounds like one hell of a monster mash/marriage that’s not to be missed!

What’s also not to be missed in this hilarious book is the headless horseman’s blog posts, Edgar Allan Poe’s poor time management skills, haikus about giant monsters known as kaiju, and “Dracula Jr’s” request for a “BIG-BOY COFFIN” (among other things found in this books pages).

I picked up Frankenstein Takes the Cake at an Ollie’s Bargain Outlet near me. If you don’t know or have never been to an Ollie’s Bargain Outlet, it’s a store that carries the overstock of other stores. It’s a great place to find a lot of cool things for not a lot of money, including books like Frankenstein Takes the Cake, which I bought along with half a dozen other books that just looked cool.

Frankenstein Takes the Cake is a superb children’s book that not only does a great job of illustrating Adam Rex’s monster fandom, but also some of the all too human situations and ceremonies that we mere mortals (and monsters) are forced to partake in.

It’s funny, full of heart and sure to entertain all who pick it up, which, I recommend you all do…before the sun goes down.

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