Slasher Saturday: Massacre at Femur Creek (2024)

“Massacre at Femur Creek” may be a low-budget slasher homage, but it’s got some clever tricks up its sleeve to make it far from ordinary.

I went into my viewing of Massacre at Femur Creek with low expectations.

That’s not a slight against the film, but if you’ve seen one ultra-low-budget 70s/80s slasher homage, you’ve seen most of them. Don’t get me wrong, I’m a slasher girl and appreciate a solid throwback to the golden age of VHS treasures. However, it’s rare to find a film that pays loving tribute while still feeling fresh and striking a difficult balance between fun kills and an interesting story with compelling characters.

In that way, Massacre at Femur Creek is a bit of a unicorn. Not only does it deliver plenty of fun in between kills, but it also deftly balances horror and humor in a way that’s not easy to do.

On a minuscule budget, writer-director Kyle Hytonen has crafted something truly special.

Eschewing the traditional slasher formula, we aren’t following horny, sexy young co-eds getting offed in the woods following a bit of debauchery. While we end up in the woods, our protagonists are a group of well past college-aged, frumpy men enjoying a bachelor party before one gets married to the love of his life. Also in the mix is a sweet, newly pregnant stripper and her fierce-as-hell older co-worker.

After a wickedly fun tongue-in-cheek opening that delivers the slasher trifecta—boobs, bloodshed, and beheadings—we meet our stressed-out groom, Patrick (Adam Lemieux), and his immature best friend Teddy (Eric De Santis). Teddy has planned a surprise bachelor party at local hangout Femur Creek despite Patrick’s objections.

Meanwhile, Trinity (Cassidy Lawson) finds out she’s pregnant moments before taking the stage at the strip club where she works. She gets offered a decent-paying gig at the stag party after another dancer fails to show up and convinces her sharp-tongued co-worker, Mariah (Karen Burson), to drive her.

The film is chock-full of fun slasher-era references, deep genre cuts, sharp dialogue, and laugh-out-loud moments.

Before we get to the woods, we’re treated to a fun gas station pitstop and a hilarious riff on the quintessential harbinger of doom character—just one of the many scenes that subverts a slasher trope in a creative and humorous way.

It’s also worth noting that the main plot kicks in around the twenty-minute mark, and we’ve already gotten two solid kills and a good look at our very disturbing-looking (somewhat Texas Chainsaw Massacre-inspired) silent escaped lunatic/masked madman (John Migliore). Kudos for that.

Most surprising is how strong the acting and enjoyable the characters are. I found myself invested in the story and rooting for underdog heroes. The dialogue is often silly but sincere, and the friends have a natural and believable chemistry.

Trinity is endearing and given an unexpected amount of depth, and Mariah is a scene-stealing delight who had me giddy whenever she was on screen. The central relationship between Patrick and Teddy is compelling—childhood best friends who have drifted apart as they have grown into very different people. Teddy is often played as a man-child buffoon, but there’s a tenderness there that makes you care about his plight.

There’s even some existential angst thrown into the mix, with conversations about aging, missing the good old days, and bemoaning how different life is from how they imagined it in their idealistic youth.

We are treated to a decent amount of blood, and though the effects are cheap, they look good.

This isn’t a strong practical effects showcase for the serious gorehounds, but there’s enough of the red stuff to satiate most slasher fans, especially fans of early slashers—before our bloodlust evolved to demand Terrifier levels of visceral horror.

Based on his 2014 short of the same name, Hytonen describes his first feature film as “an 80s-inspired backwoods slasher comedy.” At a lean 90 minutes, it moves at a brisk pace and manages a pretty impressive tonal tightrope. It’s consistently funny and a delight for horror fans who will appreciate the many cinematic references.

There are more than a few moments of real inspired genius here.

Despite its technical limitations, it is shot well and never feels exceedingly cheap. Ultimately, it succeeded far more than it stumbled, and I had a hell of a lot of fun watching it. I laughed a lot, I cared about the characters, I loved the look of the murderous lunatic, and I didn’t check the clock once.

The humor won’t land for everyone, and gorehounds may find the effects lacking, but for most fans of old-school slashers and clever horror comedies, this Femur will tickle the funny bone and scratch that slasher itch.