“Black Roses” is a ridiculous — and ridiculously fun — demonic hair metal horror film that represents everything we love about 80s excess.
Satanic Panic, 80s hair metal, badass English teachers, teenagers turning into homicidal maniacs and/or terrifying monsters from hell, and much more. That’s what’s in store in this week’s Tubi Tuesday recommendation, 1988’s Black Roses.
The movie opens with the titular band, Black Roses, playing in front of a packed house. But they are no ordinary 80s hair metal band; they are demons.
When the police come to shut down the show on account of satanic panic, they find the concertgoers have turned into insane zombies.
Cut to small-town America, which is being invaded by the Black Roses band in two Lamborghinis.
The band is exactly the type of thing that terrified middle America in the 80s: long hair, loud music, a lead singer dressed head to toe in skin-tight leather except for his leopard codpiece. So, of course, the parents are concerned. But the band offers to play a show for them to prove nothing is wrong.
When the parents show up, the band is dressed in all white, playing an acoustic set. But once the parents are satisfied and leave, BOOM, a plume of smoke, and the band reappear clad in skin-tight leather, ready to rock n roll.
With such a silly movie and silly premise, the protagonist just has to be the silliest option possible: a badass English teacher.
Now, how exactly does he suspect that the music of Black Roses is having a negative effect on his students?
Well, first they aren’t engaged in class, and then they stop doing their homework. To you and me, this is normal teenage behavior. But to the trained eye of a high school English teacher, this is a telltale sign of demon possession.
His suspicions are confirmed when one of his students murders his girlfriend and tries to seduce him before transforming into a giant booger monster and trying to eat him alive.
Knowing that the town is doomed, there is just one thing for him to do, burn it down. Burn it all down.
Black Roses is entirely nonsensical.
It’s cheap, it’s sleazy, and it’s over the top and melodramatic in all the wrong ways.
But this is exactly what we come to expect from a film from Troma Studios.
As Troma films go, this is one of the more polished and refined films in their extensive filmography — but it’s a Troma film, no doubt. It’s crass, crude, rude, and contains heavy nudity for almost no reason at all.
Overall, it’s a fantastically underrated horror film that screams the 1980s; a hell of a good time.
And for those wondering, the main song is performed by 80s rock band Lizzie Borden who looks almost exactly like the film’s demon band in demon form. Needless to say, the soundtrack is really good, too.
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