The Daily Dig: Bog (1979)

In the running for the most boring film of all time, even MST3K would have a hard time getting a laugh out of this one.

A bog creature is released from its ancient crypt when local fishermen use dynamite for fishing in a swamp. Let’s dig into 1979’s BOG, directed by Don Keeslar!

As I See It

It’s hard to put into words just how much of a slog Bog is. I watched most of the film with my forehead resting on my palm, waiting for something, anything, to keep me awake.

It looks like the film stock was buried in the sand for decades before they committed scenes to it. Shudder has it labeled as a 1984 film, though IMDb has it as 1979, which is when it was filmed, but it looks much older and plays like a really bad, really boring fifties TV episode.

The creature looks like a character from a kid’s show. A friend of Barney or from somewhere down on Sesame Street.

The premise is basically the same one they used for the remake of Piranha, minus the silicone breasts and lake party.

Besides looking like it was buried in a sandbox before being projected, every shot is overexposed, and it’s a miracle they were somehow able to get a decent audio track.

Famous Faces

Aldo Ray (Sheriff Rydholm) has a long resume that includes titles like 1977’s Witch Horror Haunted, as well as Michael Cimino’s adaptation of the Mario Puzo story The Sicilian. But it’s his voice-over credit for The Secret of NIMH that has me getting all nostalgic.

Of Gratuitous Nature

The underwater scenes seem like a ridiculous waste of money. They’re stagnant, and the score is a bunch of ominous tones rather than a rhythmic beat building tension.

Heartthrob

It says a lot that the most attractive part of the film was its title card. Obviously, hand-drawn, it was a cool, slimy font.

Ripe for a Remake

Leave it buried in the mucky bottom of the bog.

Spawns

No progeny to report.

Where to Watch

Dark Force Entertainment released a Blu-Ray. You can stream it on Shudder, AMC+, or Tubi.