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A Classic Horror Story

This highly derivative horror film stays bloody and accomplishes what it set out to do, even if it doesn’t quite know what to call itself.

A ride-share RV ends up crashing in the middle of the woods and being subjected to a murderous cult. Let’s dig into 2021’s A CLASSIC HORROR STORY, directed by Robert De Feo and Paolo Strippoli!

As I See It

I’m stepping out of the distant past for a spell. I still have countless DVDs and Blu-Rays stacked and ready to watch for the Dig, but I thought I would check out what Netflix has to offer in the horror genre. Of course, I was not surprised to see hardly any films older than 2010. I hope it stays that way so Shudder can stay as vital to the genre as it is.

Without any older films to choose from, I was forced to pick a contemporary film. Something that may have been right under your nose, but like me, you don’t go to Netflix for your horror fix.

If you google the film’s title, the first populated search that comes up is “Is A CLASSIC HORROR STORY scary?” I could spin off here, and filet the “for you page” generation, but I had to remind myself Netflix is catered to people who find The Walking Dead scary.

The title is a bit of a misnomer.

The word classic is extremely subjective. When I think of a classic horror story, I think of The Twilight Zone and Richard Matheson. I think of the Universal Monsters and even Romero’s walking corpses. That’s not necessarily the classic they’re referring to in this film.

Actually, they’re not even referring to classic Italian horror like Argento, Fulci, Bava, or Deodato — though there are a couple of scenes that hearken back to such grueling gore as Opera (the impaled eyes) or even Cannibal Holocaust (the altar sacrifice).

Other “classics” that are paid homage are Midsommar (especially with that odd, gothic cabin) and Halloween Resurrection (Bloodflix snuff feed). Neither title is eligible for that classic moniker.

The title of the film is spoken by Fabrizio, which ends up making the film seem like a rustic riff on Scream, which flirts with classic. (But I’m pretty old and still decline that characterization for Wes Craven’s seminal meta-horror.)

Fabrizio’s diatribe on the current state of cinema is hard to argue with. It echoes what Quentin Tarantino has been bellowing on his recent press tour for his wondrous book on film: “Cinema Speculation”. Still, it’s another deceitful exercise as this film, and even the film within the film, are exactly the types of movies Fabrizio is spewing about.

Regardless you, my fellow genre fan, can be assured of a legitimate horror film on that universal streaming service that won’t pull punches when it comes to gore or its attempts to frighten and creep out.

The ending attempts to be a commentary on the current generation with their phones out first help later, if at all, mentality. Sometimes the dish doesn’t need that extra spice.

Famous Faces

Matilda Anna Ingrid Lutz (Elisa) starred in the 2017 soft reboot/sequel Rings alongside Vincent D’Onofrio and Johnny Galecki.

Of Gratuitous Nature

There are a lot of “classic” horror elements inserted throughout the film. As I said, your definition of a classic will vary, but the quality of “classic” in this regard would most likely be eighties horror.

Heartthrob

Matilda Lutz’s facial features seem to be chiseled out of the most delicate stone. Beyond her beauty, she does have a strong final girl factor to her.

Ripe for a Remake

Does not apply.

Spawns

I haven’t caught wind of any follow-up on the horizon, but I imagine the whole “Bloodflix” thing was meant to open a possible universe of perverse snuff subscribers.

Where to Watch

A Classic Horror Story is streaming on Netflix. As far as I can tell, it has not yet been released on physical media.

Overall Rating (Out of 5 Butterflies): 3


THE DAILY DIG
The Daily Dig brings you hidden genre gems from the 1960s-90s you may have not yet discovered. You’ll get a brief rundown of everything you need to know, including where to watch each title for yourself. Come back each day, Mon-Fri, for new featured titles. CLICK HERE FOR A TIMELINE OF DAILY DIG COVERAGE.

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