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Eurotrash with none of the sexploitation teased by the title, “The Vampires Night Orgy” isn’t quite the decadence to sink your teeth into.

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ABOUT THIS COLUMN
The Films of F Street is a look back at the wildest and most outrageous genre cinema. Nothing is off-limits in this look back at what these films meant back then and how their influence is still felt today.

Horror and sex have long been tied together. Both deal in extremes and are a bit taboo. They are subjects you keep away from children and avoid talking about with strangers.

Even more specific is the link between vampires and lust.

Sexual energy is associated with them. Books, video games, and Halloween costumes have all capitalized on this sex appeal.

Unsurprisingly, there are a plethora of films that also center around sexy vampires. From the many sexualized takes on Dracula to the lesbian vampire craze of the 1970s, it is not hard to find an erotic vampire movie. A title like The Vampires Night Orgy fits well in the genre.

The plot follows a busload of tourists who make an unexpected stop in a small town. When they arrive, the place seems to be completely abandoned. Before long, the villagers show up. Unfortunately for the visitors, they are vampires.

The Vampires Night Orgy begins with one of the least exciting “dying while driving a bus” scenes you will ever see. After the driver suddenly has a heart attack, some passengers simply move him. It all takes seconds and involves no close calls or screeching tires. It just happens.

This is followed up by the daughter of one of the travelers meeting a young boy. He is the very definition of too cool for school. He leans stylishly in one direction while ignoring everything she says. Strange behavior for an eight-year-old, but still pretty awesome.

(It is never explained who the boy is even after he becomes somewhat important later.)

Thankfully, things pick up, but the film never lives up to its title.

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There are plenty of vampires but a noticeable lack of orgies. (There is very little nudity, in general.) The Vampires Night Orgy is more about scaring people than titillating them.

The titular monsters have a creepy feel to them, though the film is light on creature effects. The downtrodden and dirty look of the townspeople is a different take on vampires that works very well.

Instead of gore and makeup, The Vampires Night Orgy uses other methods to gross audiences out.

Some unintentional cannibal scenes are particularly well done. There is very little bloodsucking, however. The vampires act more like zombies.

Things never quite hit the next gear. Limbs are removed, and people keep dying, but nothing seems to progress. Part of the reason is that they are stuck in the town. But plenty of forsaken villages and haunted house stories succeed at telling an engaging tale.

The film has a loose plot, but the events feel too disconnected to be truly compelling. The main villains get very little screen time, while the vampire zombies never feel like much of a threat.

Ultimately, it’s an unfortunately flawed affair. But there is some solid atmosphere, a few chilling scenes, and the presence of stunning Euro-starlet Helga Liné to keep this from being a complete waste of your time.

Overall Rating (Out of 5 Butterflies): 2
The Vampires Night Orgy is available to stream for free on Tubi.