Randy’s Rules of The Trilogy

Randy’s Original Rules (Scream)

The final chapter of this series revisits Randy’s original Scream rules through films like It Follows, Bodies Bodies Bodies, Barbarian, and the later Scream entries, revealing how sex, substances, and fateful promises still spell doom in modern horror.

In our final installment of Randy Meek’s (Jamie Kennedy) eminent rules within the Scream franchise, we explore horror films from the last ten-to-twelve-year mark that fit the criteria of his original Rules to Surviving a Horror Movie.

In 1996, Randy shed light on his rules against the backdrop of John Carpenter’s Halloween (1978), and his mythology alluded to the heavy influence of 80s camp killer and slasher tropes. The party is lively at the home of Stu Macher’s (Matthew Lillard) just before the carnage, and he eggs on Randy’s virginal and trivial facts about Jamie Lee Curtis.

Randy: “Don’t you know the rules?”

Stu: “What rules?”

Randy pauses the remote and leaps up.

Randy: “You don’t?… Jesus Christ. You don’t know the rules?”

Stu: “Have an aneurysm, why don’t you?”

Randy: “There are certain rules that one must abide by in order to successfully survive a horror movie.”

“Rule One: You can never have sex. Big no no! Sex equals death.” – It Follows (2014)

Tied up to a wheelchair in her underwear and trembling, Jay’s (Maika Monroe) romantic evening of making love to her new date, Jeff (Jake Weary), quickly turns traumatic. Looking around the open abandoned building, Jeff confesses, “This thing… It’s gonna follow you. Somebody gave it to me. And I passed it to you, back in the car.” Jeff wheels her to the edge, showing her the naked woman, walking ominously towards them. Tormented by his guilt, he assures, “You can get rid of it, ok? Just sleep with someone as soon as you can. Just pass it along. If it kills you, it’ll come after me! Do you understand?”

Ahead of its time, David Robert Mitchell’s It Follows plays on the narratives of a different kind of curse, one that is sexually transmitted.  We follow Jay in her predicament of proving her paranoid visions of the dead and the tough decision of whether to sleep with someone to survive.

Other fatalistic sex picks:

The Final Girls (2015) – A movie within a movie, this horror comedy pokes loving fun at the virginal final killer and the “sex will kill you” slasher trope of the 80s.

Suitable Flesh (2023) – The act of passion and sexual intercourse can be the ultimate hellish transfer of a beast between bodies.

Totally Killer (2023) – Keeping it old school, even teasing or insinuating about teenage sex equals’ murder.

“Rule Two: You can never drink or do drugs. It’s a sin. It’s an extension of number one.” – Bodies Bodies Bodies (2022)

Recovering addict, Sophie (Amanda Stenberg), brings her girlfriend, Bee (Maira Bakalova), to a weekend “hurricane party” of old friends that quickly descends into a bender of cocaine, shrooms, weed, Xanax, and alcohol. The stakes are raised when someone is found murdered, and suspicions arise with other missing members in the group, plunging them all into behaviors that can self-destruct or kill.

Essentially, everyone who partakes in a substance still becomes a suspect or the next victim.

Psychedelic trip flicks:

Talk to Me (2022)– This Australian hit focused on another type of addiction driven by grief, escapism, and sixty-second highs of inhabitations by spirits, but at the high cost of dark forces playing a hand at self-annihilation.

Lisa Frankenstein (2024) – After Lisa (Kathryn Newton) drinks a laced LSD beverage at a party, trying to fit in, her trip sends her to the graveyard during an electrical thunderstorm that unleashes her future overprotective homicidal boyfriend.

“Rule Three: Never, ever, under any circumstances, say, ‘I’ll be right back.’ Because you won’t be back.” – Barbarian (2022)

Hysterical, Tess (Georgina Campbell) has just been rescued out of the basement by Keith (Bill Skarsgård), fellow Airbnb mishap roommate, after an eerie discovery. “I’m just gonna go look,” as Keith calmly tries to console and reason with Tess to wait. “Just thirty seconds, okay? Just wait here.” He looks at her, then at the basement, and descends downstairs.

Right back to the franchise:

The legacy characters, Sidney (Neve Campbell), Dewey (David Arquette), and Gale (Courteney Cox), easily break the rules with “be right back,” often resulting in being injured yet exempt from dying. But you’ll find many supporting characters throughout the franchise perish quickly.

“I’ll be right back” Cotton Weary, Scream 3), “I’ll call you right back” (Cici, Scream 2), “We’ll be right back” (Roman, Scream 3), and “I’ll call you back” (Rebecca, Scream 4), just to note a few of the many victims. Fortunately, the cameraman, Joel (Scream 2), survived his line, and I’m surprised he hasn’t been back!

Scream 5 (2022) reboots the observation of taking off when Richie asks Mindy for help in grabbing more beer in a compelling déjà vu Randy-esque moment. Mindy also crept behind Amber down to the basement, lecturing her, “That was a test. And you failed. Never go off on your own when there’s a masked killer around.”

Scream 6 (2023) plays out its own welcome when Sam (Melissa Barrera) is searching for her sister Tara (Jenna Ortega) at a Halloween sorority party.

With the news of Lillard joining the Scream 7 cast, I think at this point, only Stu can truly resurrect that line.

Stu: “I’m getting another beer, you want one?”

Randy: “Yeah, sure.”

Stu: “I’ll be right back!”

The crowd jeers as Stu exits into the kitchen.

Randy: “You see? You push the laws, and you end up dead, okay? I’ll see you in the kitchen with a knife.”

Thank you for taking this journey into Randy’s original horror rules and how they remain integral to modern genre films. Kevin Williamson’s brilliant writing and foreshadowing never fail, even decades later.