An exercise in endurance, there should be a patch awarded to anyone that can sit through this film in its entirety.
Zombie nudists come back from the grave to attack campers and sing songs that will devour your soul. Let’s dig into 1991’s “Nudist Colony of the Dead”, directed by Mark Pirro!
As I See It
From the same guy who brought you Deathrow Gameshow, A Polish Vampire in Burbank, and Rectuma — a tale about a killer ass — comes a zombie musical about a nudist colony who commits suicide when they are shut down for being immoral and vow to return and wreak havoc.
The lines that come out of the Sunny Buttocks (does Pirro have an ass fascination?) nudist colony are mind-boggling.
“Jesus must like hemorrhoids because he sure has a lot of assholes behind him.”
The bible-thumping, wannabe preacher will not let his shtick die as he rattles off bible verse after bible verse (someone, please check to see if any of them are from the actual bible) and finishes off the chapter citation with things like Rocky V and Jaws 2.
Most of the songs in this surprising musical are impossible to get through, but I would be lying if I said the theme wasn’t stuck in my head afterward.
It seems even Pirro knew how poorly this turned out as he mentions his hate for Super 8, which is what this film was shot on. And he replaces the names of fictitious technical crew members with fictitious blind celebrities. He saved the best humor for the end.
I almost forgot the cringe lines. I will include them below in the gratuitous section.
Forrest J. Ackerman (Judge Rhinehole) was responsible for Famous Monster magazine and was a legendary agent representing such literary titans as Ray Bradbury and Isaac Asimov. He also represented L. Ron Hubbard, so this film wasn’t his only mistake.
Of Gratuitous Nature
The character Juan Tu’s portrayal of half Mexican and half Japanese will not go over well with the current societal climate. It sucks no matter what generation is leading the train of offense.
“Remember, your children can’t praise the Lord when they have genitals in their mouth.”
There was never a time that this wasn’t tactless.
“With all their nagging, you’d think they were Jews.”
Pirro’s religious hang-ups are apparent.
The gore was acceptable. The blueish-grey zombies? Not so much.
Ripe for a Remake
I’ve seen enough.
Where to Watch
There is a double feature DVD floating around with Winter Beast or you can rent it streaming on Amazon.