The Daily Dig: Slash Dance (1989)

A strong candidate for the ‘so bad, it’s good’ category, but “Slash Dance” leaves you wanting in too many categories to be enjoyable.

A cop poses as a dancer to catch a killer who is murdering the talent. Let’s dig into 1989’s SLASH DANCE, directed by James Shyman!

As I See It

The title is a play on the 1983 hit film Flashdance. The iconic, water drop, dancing scene from that film has inspired tons of creative entries in the forty-plus years since it came out. This genre play-on-words won’t leave you with much, if anything, memorable besides its odor.

Produced by Double Helix Films, the company behind the Sleepaway Camp sequels and Blood Rage, the best part of the film is how perfectly it fits on the shelf of a video store. The haze-heavy photo, with boobs, guns, knives, and awesomely epic font, screams horror VHS. For that, I suppose it is a worthy addition to the collection, but probably shouldn’t come off the shelf but once in a lifetime.

The graphics for the title card are something else. It reminds me of Mister Wizard or some tape you’d watch in class in the early nineties, where they teach you how a computer works, and the kid walks into the circuitry.

Is this the pinnacle of schlock? I had to check, double-check, and triple-check to make sure this wasn’t a Troma release. The TV show credits, still running sporadically eight minutes in, made me openly chuckle. The score sounds like something out of a Seinfeld episode.

This film is an expensive Cabernet in a Styrofoam cup.

Famous Faces

Cindy Ferda (Tori) was in Adam Rifkin’s Invisible Maniac, but you may recognize her as Americana of G.L.O.W. (Gorgeous Ladies of Wrestling) fame. Her gimmick was the inspiration for Betty Gilpin’s character in the successful Netflix series G.L.O.W.

John Henry Richardson (Edison) was in Evil Spawn, Fred Olen Ray’s Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers, Terror Night, and Beverly Hills Vamp.

Buzz Von Ornsteiner (Amos) collected quite a few obscure eighties sci-fi thrillers for his resume: Necropolis, Robot Holocaust, Mutant Hunt, and the John Saxon-directed Death House, before taking a break after Slash Dance. He started acting again around 2013.

Of Gratuitous Nature

Some of the most memorable film titles have been pornographic adaptations of popular films. Most famously, perhaps, is the X-rated version of Edward Scissorhands. Not all spoofs are created equal, though. I really expected this to be filled with nudity. There are a few slightly steamy scenes, but nothing like you would expect. Not good enough for the mainstream, not smut sufficient for the adult industry.

Heartthrob

The goofy, feeble-minded Amos is the breakout star of this film. His performance is perfectly over the top.

Ripe for a Remake

We could do without a remake or even a reimagining of this tale.

Spawns

No progeny to report.

Where to Watch

Daniel Del Pozzo and the folks at Culture Shock Releasing released a Blu-ray, which could have been purchased as part of a bundle with a T-shirt. It is now sold out, but they do have a VHS version available for all you retro devotees.