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Order some taco bell, hide your guinea pig, and settle in for a night of insanity with Episode 3 of American Horror Story: Cult

It’s official. There’s always a point in every American Horror Story season where you begin to question why you are so addicted to horror, and episode 3 of this season, “Neighbors From Hell”, teeters back and forth on the brink of insanity. Have we just entered the Twilight Zone? Or is this just an episode that begs the question, “Why are these characters so damn stupid and naive?”

Ally kills a man (Pedro) thought to be the suspect in a previous murder, and the town seems to be livid at the injustice of this one murder  — quick to label it a hate crime and even calling Ally a “Lesbian George Zimmerman”.  Alright, maybe Ally jumped the gun by not asking “Who’s there?” first. But it seems the townspeople so quick to call her a racist aren’t even the slightest bit upset about the couple (we meet in the opening segment) found buried alive in caskets down the street.

After an uncomfortable encounter with her angry neighbors, Ally tries to convince her therapist that her best move is to confront the angry protestors and convince them she is one of them. But when they block her way and refuse to just quickly accept her apology, she adds fuel to the fire by screaming obscenities at them. We need some good PR people in here, stat!

But then Ally’s nemesis, Kai, shows up instead offering strange comfort and assisting Ally by effortlessly taming the angry masses and urging her to, “Have a nice day.” (Editor’s Note: Is it a coincidence that Kai repeatedly tells Ally to “Have a nice day” while spray painted smiley faces begin to show up wherever someone is brutally murdered?)

Maybe this town needs a neighborhood watch because it’s obvious there are no additional police patrolling the area, in spite of the dramatic increase in crime and suspicious activity. In fact, the lead detective is spending his time relaxing with the Wiltons, the titular neighbors from hell, seemingly entertained when Ally comes over fuming over the recent gifting of a pet guinea pig from the couple to her son Ozzy.

When told the he can’t keep the adorable new pet, Ozzy sure as hell let’s Ally have it in the emotional gut, telling his mom he’d rather say goodbye to her then his new pet. Yikes. I mean, Ozzy just saw a man get murdered (by his own mom, no less) right at his front doorstep. The least Ally can do is let him keep his new furry companion.

Eventually, however, she does have a change of heart, deciding Mr. Guinea Pig can stay. That is, until we’re confronted with another horrible scene that feels like an homage to Fatal Attraction, with the guinea pig meeting a fate similar to that of the infamous rabbit. It’s not a pot of boiling water, but it’s just as disturbing. That poor pet got mistreated in so many ways, before and after his untimely death.

Speaking of animal death and harbingers of doom, Ally wakes up to find her yard looks like a morbid homage to Alfred Hitchock’s The Birds. There seems to be a clear connection between the dozens of dead birds in Ally’s yard and the mysterious black chem truck that has been spewing glowing green toxins up and down her street nightly. But why so many dead birds? And why all in Ally’s yard? With not one dead bird in the street, it seems they all wanted to die where Pedro did.

Shockingly, with all her recently upgraded home security, Ally still hasn’t purchased any surveillance cameras. But, alas, it seems someone else took that initiative for her. As Ally and Ivy are talking to the detective, a cry out from Ozzy’s room sends them running to see what’s wrong. Seems he was on his computer and clicked on a link he shouldn’t have.

His moms ask to see what’s on his computer so they can fix the virus that’s infecting his computer. He protests, but they force him to reveal what is actually the secretly videotaped bathtub encounter between Winter and Ally. Looks like Ally forgot to mention that little incident to her wife, and Ivy is understandably irate.

(Note, earlier in the episode, Ivy defends Winter to Ally, who is angry at Winter for abandoning her before the shooting incident. Ivy convinces Ally to keep Winter on as the nanny, oblivious to her transgression with her wife. Immediately after  finding out she isn’t fired, she casually mentions that she let a strange man into the couple’s home. The uninvited houseguest ends up being VERY unwanted, once again showing how naive Ivy and Ally are for trusting Winter in their home).

Keep your fingers crossed with Kai. And, whatever you do, don’t bring up The Real Housewives!

More chaos ensues, more accusations arise, and more smiles are drawn on the homes of those who have been “marked” by the killers. Episode 3 concludes with a blood-covered Harrison on his front lawn screaming as cops surround him. It seems someone has murdered his wife meadow, immediately following his confession to Kai that he wishes she were dead.

Before being tackled by the cops, Harrison accuses Ally of the murder (she did threaten earlier to kill both the neighbors following the tragic guinea pig incident). Meanwhile, poor (surely emotionally scarred for life) Ozzy wanders unsupervised into the Wilton’s home to find blood splattered everywhere and a freshly painted smiley on the wall.

Should we try taking some fingerprints this time…or should we just fix this whole mess with a bowl of mint ice cream? Your call!

Episode 1: Election Night
Episode 2: Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark

Written by guest columnist Kym Bear. Kym is from the Bronx and started in the entertainment industry working with celebrities and doing PR work since the early 90s. She is a published photographer & writer. Hobbyist singer and loves all things creative, especially the genre of horror. 
Follow Kym on Instagram @cantbear2livewithoutit.

(All photos courtesy of Kym Bear, @cantbear2livewithoutit on Instagram)

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