The Daily Dig: Blood Dolls (1999)

Absurdity abounds in “Blood Dolls” — a typical Full Moon film that looks like “Puppet Master” through a twisted John Waters filter.

An eccentric billionaire experiments with biological inventions to aid his pursuit of revenge and love. Let’s dig into 1999’s BLOOD DOLLS, directed by Charles Band!

As I See It

You can’t help but make the connection between this and Puppet Master. They’re both Charles Band productions, and they both feature killer dolls. The dolls look to be from the same universe, which makes it surprising that they weren’t created by the same artist, which leads me to believe it’s a signature of Band. Although it features the same playful score that most Charles Band films do, it was composed by Ricardo Bizzetti.

The quality of the picture is atrocious. Maybe it should stay that way. Being there is no high-definition physical version or some new 2k or 4k scan, the sleaze stays grainy as it should.

Travis wears a mask that reminds me of Tor Johnson in Plan 9 From Outer Space, and when he removes it, we see why. He seems to have visited the good doctor in the waiting room from Beetlejuice. His head is the size of a grapefruit. This is yet another addition to the absurdity of the Band universe.

Where the comparisons end is the dolls take a back seat in the story. It’s more focused on some nonsensical love story that wraps up with multiple endings like Wayne’s World.

Reportedly, the famed rock producer and brother of Stewart Copeland (who has scored a few horror films himself) of The Police, Miles Copeland, had some involvement in Blood Dolls with a plan to launch a tour with the Caged Babies.

I find it hard to believe, and if it were true, it’s not surprising to me that Copeland did not follow through with having his name applied to this project. It’s not his cup of tea, that’s for sure. Managing Sting doesn’t seem to fall within the same realm.

There is also a reported making of documentary shot by famed filmmaker Penelope Spheeris called Hollyweird that has never seen a proper release and is not available in physical or streaming format, but word has it she just focused on the Germs.

Famous Faces

It was killing me that I couldn’t figure out where I knew Matt Corboy (Security Guard) from. Checking through his CV, I landed on seventeen episodes of the groundbreaking drama series about Police corruption in a specific LAPD precinct, The Shield, that featured Corboy as Officer Ray Carlson.

It’s quite a jump to go from “Punk” in Howard the Duck, and “Troubled Guy” in Demolition Man to being the big bad in a direct to video genre film like this for Kristopher Logan (Travis). Though some would rightfully argue it’s probably a lateral movement.

Phil Fondacaro (Hylas) has had a steady line through most of my movie watching life. He starred alongside Warwick Davis on a few occasions including as an Ewok in Return of the Jedi and as Vohnkar in Willow. He was the demon clown in the Ray Bradbury adaptation of Something Wicked this Way Comes, Torok the Troll in Troll, Greaser Greg in the live action Garbage Pail Kids Movie and I somehow remember seeing him in the Olsen twins Halloween movie Double, Double Toil and Trouble.

Of Gratuitous Nature

Wall to wall, baby! Caged slave women, an odd racist character trait, and a bit of gore. It is an exercise in the gratuitous.

Heartthrob

It’s a late eighties horror playground. Masks, makeup, dolls, blood, and boobs. It’s surprising this hasn’t found more of a cult following. It has just about everything the retro genre hounds love, including a hollow story.

Ripe for a Remake

I’d rather see a proper scary Puppet Master remake.

Spawns

It’s supposedly a spin-off of another Charles Band film, Head of the Family.

Where to Watch

You can get the DVD from Full Moon.