“Curtains for Christmas” is a gloriously gory and hilariously unhinged holiday horror that turns festive clichés into bloody cheer.
No time to read? Click the button below to listen to this post.
Steve Rudzinski is a prolific indie film creator with a passion for horror. Since 2011, he has directed an average of one film a year, including the cult favorite CarousHELL Trilogy and the Fangoria Chainsaw Award-Winning Amityville Christmas Vacation. He’s also the demented genius behind one of my personal holiday favorites, A Meowy Christmas—a hilarious spoof on noir crime thrillers, Home Alone, and conspiracy theories. (If you haven’t seen it, fix that immediately! It’s free on YouTube.)
Curtains for Christmas is Rudzinski’s sixteenth film produced by Silver Spotlight Films. Co-written with Aleen Isley, who co-stars in the film along with Rudzinski, it’s a delightfully silly and uproarious sendup of Hallmark holiday films in which two people find each other and connect over the magic of Christmas.
The aptly named Holly (Isley) wishes her life could be like one of those schmaltzy and saccharine Christmas movies. She dreams of finding someone who will embrace the spirit of the season as much as she does.
Sadly, her current boyfriend, Howard (Eric J. Holmes), sorely lacks the requisite holly-jolly attitude she desires, and she has no choice but to silence her bah-humbug beau permanently.
To quell the sadness, Holly curls up with her favorite holiday romance, A Cheesy Christmas (a tongue-in-cheek reference to another of Rudzinski’s ridiculous Christmas comedies), while a giant talking rat named Dominick (the wildly funny Michael Varrati)—a manifestation of her fractured mind—mocks her taste in films and tries to guide her on the right path.
Soon after, she meets her dream man, Jay (Rudzinski), at a mall and immediately imagines serious sparks flying.
When Jay invites her for a cup of hot cocoa following their meet-cute, she thinks it’s a romantic rendezvous. She’s heartbroken to discover the festive fête is merely a friendly get-together, as the married Jay has already snagged his perfect mate, the warm-hearted and sugary sweet Joan (Katy Grant).
With Dominick by her side, stoking the fire of Holly’s Joan-focused rage, she decides to snag her Christmas miracle at any cost. She’ll lie, kidnap, and sleigh slay her way to starring in her very own Christmas movie.
Curtains for Christmas is a cheesy, incredibly funny holiday romp that’s nearly impossible not to be charmed by.
With memorable characters, a deliciously demented villain, and plenty of bloody chaos—plus surprisingly great effects for such a low-budget affair, it’s a frolicking good time. Isley is pitch-perfect as Holly, the loveable psychopath with good intentions but very bad actions as she paves the road to holiday hell.
It’s intentionally ludicrous and frequently laugh-out-loud funny.
Curtains for Christmas is like a live-action cartoon that keeps getting more unhinged as Holly’s exploits escalate, while the doofy Jay remains blissfully unaware of the murderous mess he’s gotten himself into.
Mike Trebilcock absolutely nails the mirthful holiday score that imbues the film with feel-good charm even amidst the black comedy carnage.
I could not get enough of Varrati’s giant costumed rat with his cartoony voice and ample sass. He cracked me up every time he graced the screen, and he desperately needs his own spinoff feature. There’s also a deranged gingerbread house competition scene about halfway through that left me in stitches.
Rudzinski loves Christmas movies, and it shows. Curtains for Christmas may be poking fun at those dripping-in-cheese festive flicks, but this is far more homage than mean-spirited mockery.
This is a film that oozes holiday spirit and pays loving homage to the holiday even as it skewers seasonal obsession.
For my fellow gorehounds, never fear; Curtains for Christmas gets delightfully twisted as it sadistically skates to its blood-soaked finale. Kudos to Cody Ruch for some fantastic effects that are as horrific as they are hilarious.
I loved seeing a female killer hack and slash her way through the season, especially one as adorably disturbed as Holly. We also get some great LGBTQ+ representation when Holly tries to construct a makeshift family for a holiday dinner date with Jay.
I didn’t expect to love Curtains for Christmas as much as I did, but it won me over in a big way. It clocks in at just over an hour, making it an easy, breezy watch without a dull minute.
It’s a new seasonal staple for me, a riotous gift for holiday horror fans.
Overall Rating (Out of 5 Butterflies): 4
Follow Us!