Sapphic Sunday: The Rebrand (Panic Fest, 2025)

Smartly satirical and sidesplitting, “The Rebrand” is a demented and gloriously queer horror comedy that strikes all the right notes.

The Rebrand opens with comedian, singer, writer, and producer Tranna Wintour camping and vamping it up, playing herself as the host of a true crime documentary series called Crime Queens, featuring true LGBTQ+ crime stories.

This episode features the grisly tale of canceled lesbian influencers Thistle and Blaire, whose embarrassing leaked livestream featuring some offensive comments led to a very public cancellation. Their “heartfelt” apology landed on deaf ears, and the couple is desperate for some good press.

They hire the financially strapped and very pregnant bisexual filmmaker Nicole (Naomi Silver-Vézina) to come to their rustic, secluded home and film a documentary chronicling their attempted rebrand.

We’re told something went horribly wrong during the filming of said documentary, and we’re about to witness the actual footage from that fateful event.

For the rest of the film, we’ll be shifting into a found footage mockumentary, beginning with Nicole arriving at the home and filming a brief introduction before meeting the women.

The red flags start flying immediately as our first introduction to the beautiful Thistle is deeply disturbing.

She appears to be beating something that looks an awful lot like a small animal in a tote bag with a hammer before dropping it over her balcony.

Not quite sure what she just witnessed, Nicole enters the home and formally meets the appearance-obsessed Thistle (Nancy Webb) and her endearing but blissfully unaware partner, Blaire (a disarmingly charming Andi E McQueen).

It’s immediately clear that the perfectionist control freak Thistle is calling all the shots, with the adoring Blaire simply along for the ride.

Thistle wants to film an apology video, explaining the little whoopsie that caused such controversy and insisting the couple has grown significantly since the fallout. She delivers the speech with all the sincerity of a beauty queen contestant’s insistence that she just wants to end world hunger.

While it’s clear the naïve, childlike Blaire loves Thistle and is gleefully happy to be by her side, every word that comes out of Thistle’s mouth feels performative and manufactured for the cameras.

Thistle insists that Nicole record every staged moment of the couple’s interaction, including a fake proposal and nuptials.

Bribing Nicole with a huge financial bonus if she agrees to stay the night, the trio spends the evening together out by the fire performing an awkward talent show.

When Nicole shares her talent, playing the harp (that just happens to be lying around in the couple’s home), Thistle gets jealous at how much Blaire seems to be enjoying watching her play. After intentionally hurting herself to get attention, she chastises Blaire for flirting and reminds her how important it is that this weekend goes well.

Things quickly escalate in increasingly creepy ways, reminiscent of Patrick Brice and Mark Duplass’s excellent 2014 found-footage horror Creep.

It doesn’t take long before we realize that Thistle is more than a vapid, narcissistic influencer desperate to repair her image; she’s an unhinged psychopath with a nasty temper and potentially malicious intentions.

As Nicole grows more uncomfortable by the minute, she becomes desperate to leave but finds it much harder than expected.

It all culminates in a hilariously deranged final act that lets the comedically gifted Webb, who crafted the film’s sharp script with writer-director Kaye Adelaide, absolutely devour the scenery she’s been chewing for the entire film.

The Rebrand is a violently side-splitting sendup of influencer and cancel culture, performative apologies, and true crime obsession.

Made on a nearly non-existent budget of $5000, this labor of love is rapidly paced and fiercely fun from beginning to end, maintaining its sharp humor all the way through to the end credits.

It’s a joyful celebration of queer cinema that deftly balances entertaining camp with exceedingly clever satire and just the right amount of sinister edge.

Though it’s far more comedy than horror, The Rebrand is an absolute blast that strikes the perfect twisted tone.