Imagine “Kill Bill” with no budget and gratuitous meat consumption, and you have an idea about the wonderfully weird, artsy indie gem “Mad Cowgirl”.
For a movie that opens with a PSA in Japanese about Mad Cow disease and a woman having sex with a priest, you might dismiss it, expecting the worst. But trust me, keep going.
Mad Cowgirl is a very low budget, very indie horror film which has the vibe of one of those college art house films that has you scratching your head looking for the message. To me, the best thing about this film is the schizophrenia of it all. It’s part an emotional drama about a woman dealing with her sin and fighting against her religious beliefs, part revenge horror with the same wronged woman going on a mad cow disease-fueled murder spree, and part kung-fu thriller. But more on that in a minute.
The movie follows Therese, a food inspector who is diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumor. Therese is fairly promiscuous. Throughout the movie, she hooks up with multiple priests, multiple ex-boyfriends — and even has an intense sex scene with the television. What’s interesting is Therese doesn’t seem to be happy with her lifestyle. But she lacks the impulse control necessary to correct her behavior.
Throughout the film, she is seen fighting her urges and struggling with God. She is constantly going to church and confessional to seek guidance, but to no avail. While this is all going on, we are constantly cutting to news stories about a mad cow epidemic in Canada, as well as gratuitous red meat meals. Like seriously, there are about 20 scenes of people eating steaks and burgers.
About 30 minutes or so in you may be thinking, “Where is the horror element?” Trust me, keep going.
One night, Therese’s brother comes over for some steak and incest. But unbeknownst to Therese, the meat they eat is tainted beef from Canada. From this moment on, the movie spirals out of control.
There is an epic montage of Therese sleeping with random men and eating tons of random meat. With the knowledge of her brain tumor and the realization that she has eaten mad cow meat, she stocks her fridge with tainted Canadian beef and eats it raw. One night in a rage, she follows what she thinks is her ex-lover/priest to a shoddy movie theatre that’s playing porn and kung-fu in 3D at the same time.
From here on out, that what this movie becomes. Porn and Kung-Fu at the same time.
The third act of this film is bananas. Therese decides she must become and assassin and kill the men in her life, which she imagines as the Ten Tigers of Kwangtung.
We get an epic Rocky-style training montage set to mariachi music. Then Therese begins wandering the streets meeting all of her previous flings, having sex with them, and murdering them with axes, circular saws, decapitation devices, swords and numerous other sharp objects. And, oh yeah, chopping off their dicks.
The movie ends with Therese accepting the titular role on her favorite television show, The Girl with the Thunderbolt Kick.
No one said any of this is supposed to make sense.
But this movie has enough art house appeal that it does make some sense to someone so inclined. For those just along for the ride, this is a wild one for sure.
So if you’re looking for something off the beaten path to watch this week, and you want to support low budget indie horror, I definitely recommend you check out Mad Cowgirl on Tubi.