We continue our recap of the Riverdale series with episodes 15 and 16 of the second season, “There Will Be Blood” and “Primary Colors”.
Join us for our weekly recap of the entire Riverdale series, starting with the first episode of Season 1. This will be a bi-weekly column (every Tuesday and Thursday), with two episodes reviewed each time, until we get caught up with the latest season. Catch up on everything you might have missed, including recaps for all of Season 1, using the links below — or just dive right into to our most recent recap below.
Season 1 Recaps:
Episode 1: The River’s Edge
Episodes 2 and 3: Touch of Evil and Body Double
Episodes 4 and 5: The Last Picture Show and Heart of Darkness
Episodes 6 and 7: Faster Pussycats! Kill! Kill! and In a Lonely Place
Episodes 8 and 9: The Outsiders and La Grande Illusion
Episodes 10 and 11: The Lost Weekend and To Riverdale and Back Again
Episodes 12 and 13: Anatomy of a Murder and The Sweet Hereafter
Season 2 Recaps:
Episodes 1 and 2: A Kiss Before Dying and Nighthawks
Episodes 3 and 4: The Watcher in the Woods and The Town That Dreaded Sundown
Episodes 5 and 6: When a Stranger Calls and Death Proof
Episodes 7 and 8: Tales From the Darkside and House of the Devil
Episodes 9 and 10: Silent Night, Deadly Night and The Blackboard Jungle
Episodes 11 and 12: The Wrestler and The Wicked and the Divine
Episodes 13 and 14: The Tell-Tale Heart and The Hills Have Eyes
Episode 15: “There Will Be Blood” Synopsis
Betty continues to try and find out who Chic truly is, getting some assistance when Clifford Blossom’s will is found and promises money to whoever can prove through a DNA test that they are a true Blossom. This, after a failed attempt at using Kevin as bait to try and lure Chic into talking about things, shows that Chic isn’t who he seems to be. Polly also visits and the sisters reconcile before Polly moves on with her babies to San Francisco.
Archie and Veronica struggle over Archie’s place as a mole for the Lodges and his loyalty to her and to his father. Veronica still defends him though, and he makes a blood pact with Hiram in order to assure his trust after learning that he wants to turn the Southside into one massive prison complex, even as his father and Hermione Lodge both throw their hats into the ring for the newly open position as Mayor of Riverdale.
Jughead’s attempts to get information on Hiram lead him nowhere, save for finding out that Pops did truly sell the diner and that the Register’s been purchased too, until FP admits that he and some other Serpents were hired to trash the place on Hiram’s behalf and lower the property value so it would be easier to buy. The two travel to meet up with one of FP’s prison connections, who knows Hiram’s entire plan and tells them every detail. The article revealing Hiram’s true nature is written, but blocked by Principal Weatherbee.
Cheryl Blossom discovers her father’s will and finds that she is now heir to the maple syrup empire now that Jason is gone. As she’s preparing to give a speech, someone new appears: her father’s twin Claudius who’d fled after being threatened by Clifford and joined the Merchant Marines. She also bonds further with Toni Topaz, much to her mother’s dismay.
Observations
— As much as I think Chic is creepy, Hal isn’t better. He’s just a familiar evil rather than an unfamiliar one. Should Alice have put so much trust in Chic? No. Should she and Betty trust Hal? Considering the fact that he tried to force Polly into having an abortion, no. I agree that Chic probably isn’t really Chic. He looks the part, yeah, but just because it looks like a duck that doesn’t mean it’s a duck. He was especially dodgy about that blood test, so that’s something to note.
— Speaking of Polly, it was lovely to see her and the babies again and even better to see her and Betty making amends. I hope she finds something good out in San Francisco, and that her babies will be safe and sound there.
— Claudius is more than a little creepy, and I trust him just about as much as I trusted his twin. He will not be going on the parent ranking, because he’s not a parent nor will he likely become a father figure to Cheryl.
— I’m glad Toni and Cheryl have become friends, but bringing your friend to the reading of your father’s will is kinda weird Cheryl.
— Who was the deputy mayor and why are they stepping down? Was it Lodge intimidation tactics like what happened with Sierra, or was it something they planned of their own volition?
— I didn’t like Betty putting Kevin out as bait for her brother. Friends don’t put their friends out for their creepy brothers to ogle over for information. It barely even worked. I’m proud of Kevin for standing up to Betty about it though. Good for him!
— Honestly? I’m all for Mayor Fred. He’s the only adult in this town besides Sierra and Sheriff Keller who knows how to actually take care of people. I hope he beats Hermione in the election. Especially since Hiram wants to turn the entirety of Southern Riverdale into a for-profit prison.
— Why is Sierra Penelope’s lawyer now? Is Penelope involved with all of this Lodge family stuff?
— Pop Tate is the best non-parent adult in this town, and that shouldn’t be a thing I have to say but here we are.
— Veronica genuinely tried to protect Archie this episode, even lying about him being the mole to her parents. Honestly? Her relationship with Archie, while still tainted a little by her parents, is healthier than Betty and Jughead’s. After all, Archie and Veronica haven’t covered up a literal murder together. A couple fights, yeah, but there’s a difference between squabbles and covering up a dead body.
— Riverdale, I can’t take these people or things seriously if you keep giving them silly names. War Baby isn’t scary with a name like War Baby. That’s the name a 1940s soldier calls his mistress in Paris while he’s deployed.
— Can’t you just have Archie and Hiram put their hands together like a normal blood pact, Riverdale?
— Riverdale Parents Ranking: Fred, Sierra, Polly, The Lodges, FP, Alice & Penelope (they’re tied). Polly won’t be going on the final ranking for the season, but I figured that she deserved a spot on here at least for this episode.
Quotables
Top cursed lines from this episode:
Smithers being Deep Throat. Ew.
Episode 16: “Primary Colors” Synopsis
Veronica Lodge, hated by the entire student body (especially Ethel Muggs, who throws a milkshake on her and exposes her alongside Josie) for what her parents did, decides to run for Student Body President in order to make amends with everyone. Betty, at first her running mate, later agrees to become Jughead’s running mate after deciding that she can’t trust Veronica anymore.
Betty learns that the reason why Chic’s blood test came back negative is because he’s not a by-blood Cooper: he’s not Hals’ son, he’s someone else’s. She threatens him if he doesn’t back off, only to attempt to make a truce and be threatened in return with the potential discovery that she helped to hide the body that Chic killed.
Archie tries to help Jughead and Veronica both, only to fall for Hiram Lodge’s promises to cut his father out of the Southside deal like he wants and betraying Jughead in the process by helping to break up the Serpents protest in favor of their school not being destroyed by the Lodges for their prison. On a happier note, Mary Andrews returns and decides to stay in town for a while to help Fred with his mayoral campaign.
Cheryl’s sent to the Sisters of Quiet Mercy for conversion therapy after Nana Rose is poisoned by her mother and uncle and she tries to stop them. This is before she’s finally able to kiss Toni Topaz, who she’s fallen in love with.
Observations
— Chic is FP’s son, no matter what Alice says. I’m calling it now, Chic is FP’s son and that makes her and Jughead dating creepy because now they have a shared brother between them. It’s even worse because Chic’s creepy vibes are starting to translate to me like Roberto, what’s with all the incest and pseudo-incest? Why does this keep coming back?
— Hermione, I think Veronica figured out that people would think she’s the enemy after the whole ‘milkshake-dumping’ incident. Speaking of which, trying to pay homage to Glee is not the way to go Riverdale. We all know how bad Glee got in its last few seasons. I lived through that once, I won’t go through it again.
— Also, what the fuck was with Ethel this episode? She wasn’t like this in the first half of the season, why is she like this now? What happened to the consistent character I liked so much? I can understand her having a little grudge against her for testifying in favor of her father, but wasn’t her whole thing last season that Veronica’s not guilty for her parents’ sins?
— I liked watching Veronica punch Reggie in the face. That was a high point this episode.
— You’d think that after the whole ‘sedated milkshake’ thing with Polly last season that Cheryl would know better than to take drinks made by her family. She clearly doesn’t know better though.
— Do we really need the Student Council race subplot? Do we? Because it’s so hard for me to keep up with all of these plots already, and this is an hour long show if you watch it with ads. We don’t need all of this padding.
— I really enjoyed the scenes with Toni and Cheryl. I still don’t like this subplot with Cheryl realizing she’s gay, not because of the fact that she’s gay but because it literally started with her giving Josie a pig heart. I’m not gonna let that go, that should come up again at some point because that was a lot.
— Nana Rose is gonna make it out just fine, I’m sure of it. She’ll probably only leave the show when Barbara Wallace retires or passes away.
— I love every time we get to see Mary. Molly Ringwald’s delightful and her presence just brightens up this frustrating show. It was also nice to see someone putting Archie in his place.
— Nothing says Serpents like a good ol’ fashioned protest!
— Why is Josie in on the Veronica hate train? What did Veronica, herself, do to the McCoys? Nothing! It was all her parents! It’s not her fault she knew things, her dad’s a mob boss who got someone. Why would she try to fight against that?
— I don’t care about Betty and Jughead as a couple. They’re much more interesting separately than they are as a couple.
— Hey, you know what this show didn’t need? A conversion therapy plot! Also, fuck Penelope Blossom.
— What does Andy Cohen have to do with anything?
— Riverdale Parents Ranking:Fred, Mary, The Lodges, Penelope.
Quotables
Top cursed lines from this episode:
All of the Andy Cohen stuff. There was zero need.
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